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A public servant's desperate cry for help

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Dear Editor,

I considered myself strong; I thought I could endure anything, and then this morning I awoke and an immense feeling of doom took over my entire outlook on life. I sat in my bed and I wept bitterly as I struggled to see the light at the end of the tunnel. My eyes drifted to the bottles of pills by my bedside. And, I thought how easy it would be to just end it right here, because I am tired, I am exhausted, I am broken.

All my life I have worked for the Government of Jamaica, I am not a frivolous person. I took loans only for educational purposes for myself and children. Yet now all I am left with is debt and a degree that is doing nothing for me. My pay has been frozen for the past few years yet my bills keep going up each month. I fear answering my telephone because I will hear the collectors' voice. I can't afford a house of my own, because while I could manage the monthly payment, the downpayment is just too high. I am at my wits' end and I don't know what to do.

I am in no way, means or form looking a handout, I am just deep in sinking sand and I need some assistance to be able to find my footing once again. My take-home pay is about $40,000. I pay rent, bills and look after my children. I go to work each day and I give of my best, no one knows that I am just an empty shell. No one knows how close to the edge I am, no one realises I might soon jump. I want a financial institution to give me a chance on a long-term loan. This will mean I will pay them back more, yes, but I will be able to survive on a monthly basis. I have over 30 yrs left in service to the Government and I am prepared to pay back until I die. I just want a chance to put all my loans in one basket and get a chance to live each month without stress. My blood pressure is 200/160 and doctors have warned me this is stroke level. I try to relax but how can I when I know not where the money is to come from to pay these loans. If I had taken loans and wasted the cash then I would not be here begging for help, because I would know I deserved it. My loans all went to education.

I am writing this letter in the hope that someone will read it and be willing to give me a second chance. I know things are hard on everyone, but for the sake of my children, give me a chance, give me a longer payback time than the regular five years, which will mean lower monthly payments. I am desperate for help. I need a second chance.

AL

Gregory Park

St CatherineA public servant's desperate cry for help

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