Dear Editor,
We all listened in amazement as Oprah Winfrey took Lance Armstrong through the process of revealing himself to the world on January 17, 2013.
As we sat riveted, many of us asked "Can people lie so much?", "Can people be so barefaced?"
The answer, sadly, is "Yes". Sometimes these people, unfortunately, aren't the distant Lance Armstrong, but a boss, board chairman, neighbour, colleague, or even a person whose friendship is based on persistent deception.
Whomever it is, it impacts our psyche in some way, and it hurts. This hurt may be borne out in frustrated silence or open rebellion.
For years Lance Armstrong took performance-enhancing drugs and denied all accusations that he had. He lambasted those who claimed to have knowledge of it and dragged them through hell. He claimed that he was only guilty of having a special gift which he enhanced through hard work.
Folks admired his confidence, his 'gift' and his resilience in having bounced back from cancer, as well as his enormous benevolence. But Lance Armstrong was not who he projected; there was self-deception, and there was deception of the world communicated through lies.
Somewhere in the core of people like Lance Armstrong is a type of sociopath, I believe — no conscience, cold, narcissistic, and a win-at-all-cost mentality.
Should we forgive them, should we just learn to work with them, or should we avoid them once we begin to suspect their 'illness'?
Lance Armstrong admitted that his years of lying were tantamount to bullyism, as he vehemently denied charges made by colleagues and others with intimate knowledge of his love and use of performance-enhancing drugs.
I can truly empathise with his cycling colleagues. They were deprived of opportunities, big bucks, and recognition because of this 'sick' person, but as intimated earlier, he is certainly not the only 'sick' individual amongst us.
The 'sick' are amoung us, thriving off their lies. When threatened in any way, they exercise their 'right' to lie-to-the-max to maintain control. They are without shame. Continuous and complete control is their objective.
Arrogance and an irritating sense of entitlement are other dimensions of their personality. This resulted in Armstrong having to answer 'No' to questions like:
Did it feel wrong at the time?
Did it feel like cheating?
Because taking the drugs was not seen as cheating, to him he had done nothing wrong; so in the cocoon which was his world, he was not lying. It was, I guess, the fools on the outside in the small world which existed parallel to his, who were making these wild and baseless accusations of cheating.
Deception is as old as the hills, almost. Just remember the story of Jacob and Esau. Persistent lying, though, tells a lot about a person, not least of all the fact that this is someone to be feared.
Have you ever had someone look straight at you and not just tell a big lie, but tell a big lie on you? Have you ever dealt with someone who used one grain of truth as a basis to create a web of lies? That is the stuff that these liars are made of, and they are unflinching in their carriage.
These people's deception and lies are their reality. They seem not to know the difference between reality and fantasy. Not to be left out are their enablers — people who, for the most part, depend on them for something, such as salaries, recognition, a bribe, friendship, etc.
Persistent liars need professional intervention, to include cognitive restructuring. Maybe this will help if and when they realise that they need help.
Patricia E Johnson
Victory99967@yahoo.com
When people lie without shame
-->
We all listened in amazement as Oprah Winfrey took Lance Armstrong through the process of revealing himself to the world on January 17, 2013.
As we sat riveted, many of us asked "Can people lie so much?", "Can people be so barefaced?"
The answer, sadly, is "Yes". Sometimes these people, unfortunately, aren't the distant Lance Armstrong, but a boss, board chairman, neighbour, colleague, or even a person whose friendship is based on persistent deception.
Whomever it is, it impacts our psyche in some way, and it hurts. This hurt may be borne out in frustrated silence or open rebellion.
For years Lance Armstrong took performance-enhancing drugs and denied all accusations that he had. He lambasted those who claimed to have knowledge of it and dragged them through hell. He claimed that he was only guilty of having a special gift which he enhanced through hard work.
Folks admired his confidence, his 'gift' and his resilience in having bounced back from cancer, as well as his enormous benevolence. But Lance Armstrong was not who he projected; there was self-deception, and there was deception of the world communicated through lies.
Somewhere in the core of people like Lance Armstrong is a type of sociopath, I believe — no conscience, cold, narcissistic, and a win-at-all-cost mentality.
Should we forgive them, should we just learn to work with them, or should we avoid them once we begin to suspect their 'illness'?
Lance Armstrong admitted that his years of lying were tantamount to bullyism, as he vehemently denied charges made by colleagues and others with intimate knowledge of his love and use of performance-enhancing drugs.
I can truly empathise with his cycling colleagues. They were deprived of opportunities, big bucks, and recognition because of this 'sick' person, but as intimated earlier, he is certainly not the only 'sick' individual amongst us.
The 'sick' are amoung us, thriving off their lies. When threatened in any way, they exercise their 'right' to lie-to-the-max to maintain control. They are without shame. Continuous and complete control is their objective.
Arrogance and an irritating sense of entitlement are other dimensions of their personality. This resulted in Armstrong having to answer 'No' to questions like:
Did it feel wrong at the time?
Did it feel like cheating?
Because taking the drugs was not seen as cheating, to him he had done nothing wrong; so in the cocoon which was his world, he was not lying. It was, I guess, the fools on the outside in the small world which existed parallel to his, who were making these wild and baseless accusations of cheating.
Deception is as old as the hills, almost. Just remember the story of Jacob and Esau. Persistent lying, though, tells a lot about a person, not least of all the fact that this is someone to be feared.
Have you ever had someone look straight at you and not just tell a big lie, but tell a big lie on you? Have you ever dealt with someone who used one grain of truth as a basis to create a web of lies? That is the stuff that these liars are made of, and they are unflinching in their carriage.
These people's deception and lies are their reality. They seem not to know the difference between reality and fantasy. Not to be left out are their enablers — people who, for the most part, depend on them for something, such as salaries, recognition, a bribe, friendship, etc.
Persistent liars need professional intervention, to include cognitive restructuring. Maybe this will help if and when they realise that they need help.
Patricia E Johnson
Victory99967@yahoo.com
When people lie without shame
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