Dear Editor,
The March 4 edition of the Jamaica Observer carried an article entitled 'Mom's tell: How to deal with kids misbehaving in public.' A more fitting title would be "Moms tell how they deal with kids misbehaving in public."
The survey revealed the common tendency of women to deal with misbehaving kids with some form of physical punishment. Out of the nine people who gave their opinion, six women would apply some kind of physical pain to the child, two women used psychological methods, and one ignored the misbehaviour by allowing the "bawling" to continue while she went on with her work. Although slapping, clapping, smacking, squeezing and pinching may get an immediate reaction and cessation of misbehaviour, they can lead to more serious effects later on. These methods are learned behaviours through culture and the mother's own parents' style of discipline.
If mothers accept the fact that children do and will misbehave, they must plan for an assertive method of discipline which teaches the child rather than punishes the child. Moreover, if the parent is consistent in showing affection when the child is being well-behaved, the child will associate the affection with good behaviour.
Withholding treats rather than rewarding with treats, as one of the women stated, is also better than slapping or hitting the child. Some children will continue to misbehave, even if it results in negative attention. When the parent observes this, he or she should change the strategy.
Raising children is a thinking job, and certainly is not like raising cattle. Children are all different, so what works for one child doesn't work for another. Why would we take a one-step approach like pinching, spanking or flogging, to discipline?
AM Ansari
stop1998@aol.com
Teach the child instead of punishing him
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The March 4 edition of the Jamaica Observer carried an article entitled 'Mom's tell: How to deal with kids misbehaving in public.' A more fitting title would be "Moms tell how they deal with kids misbehaving in public."
The survey revealed the common tendency of women to deal with misbehaving kids with some form of physical punishment. Out of the nine people who gave their opinion, six women would apply some kind of physical pain to the child, two women used psychological methods, and one ignored the misbehaviour by allowing the "bawling" to continue while she went on with her work. Although slapping, clapping, smacking, squeezing and pinching may get an immediate reaction and cessation of misbehaviour, they can lead to more serious effects later on. These methods are learned behaviours through culture and the mother's own parents' style of discipline.
If mothers accept the fact that children do and will misbehave, they must plan for an assertive method of discipline which teaches the child rather than punishes the child. Moreover, if the parent is consistent in showing affection when the child is being well-behaved, the child will associate the affection with good behaviour.
Withholding treats rather than rewarding with treats, as one of the women stated, is also better than slapping or hitting the child. Some children will continue to misbehave, even if it results in negative attention. When the parent observes this, he or she should change the strategy.
Raising children is a thinking job, and certainly is not like raising cattle. Children are all different, so what works for one child doesn't work for another. Why would we take a one-step approach like pinching, spanking or flogging, to discipline?
AM Ansari
stop1998@aol.com
Teach the child instead of punishing him
-->